Girly-girly...womanhood..motherhood...

Girly...womanhood...motherhood...these words may seem different, VERY TRUE! But, try and read it more than once...keep going and you'll know what I am talking about! Did u get it? If not then here is a little overview...

Three different words with three different meanings but when combined together forms one meaning! Remember when you were a kid? Growing up playing dolls? thrillions of dolls? It can be barbie dolls, baby dolls and even paper dolls. I do! Damn! I loved playing with them and I never got tired...I often pretended to mother my dolls, cradling and rocking them to sleep, telling it off! It makes me laugh as I write about it...when I turned into a "woman" it was different scenario all together! All the pretending and playing somehow turned into reality. This was a stage in once life whereby we learn a lot about relationships and its meanings. The mother and daughter relationship which your mum often becomes your diary of events. You tell her you innermost. Or if you are not lucky enough to have that special bond you turn to a sister and if youre really unfortunate then a friend comes along to let you know that she can be there to fill in the lacking part! Beware though!..don't pour everything cause it can turn messy at times. Always leave something locked within. It is always wise to keep something all to yourself!

Grandma....

There is nothing more than trying to live your life in perfect symphony. The patience you showed in everything you do is impeccable....at 73yrs of age ( sorry nay!), my grandma (aka Nanay) has been there and done that! And is still doing it! Her life long experiences is remarkable!...I remember how I repeatedly asked her to tell me stories of how her life was growing up in the war. I loved hearing it! She often told me how her pastime was reading books because they didnt have tv or radio during that time. They do things to entertain themselves. Nowadays I will get bored if I stayed indoors all day long....

She's incomparable! What puzzles me is how she can stay calm in the most ugliest situation you can think of! Guess it is the reason why she doesnt look her age at all!!!!...The strength that she shows to us is indescribable! It is the strength that I will look upon for shield everytime I am in despair. She will always be an inspiration to me! I LOVE U NAY! Even though you are going home to Phili you will always come back to us here in UK...and I will be waiting for that moment with a smile the way you taught me how!....

Struggles....

Ever experienced giving up on everything you do? As if it is never gonna be right?....and u think oh I can not take this any longer!!!! If u answer yes to all this then you are with me!!!!

Damn the struggles of life! I think I have had far too many to last me my whole lifetime!...It sure hit me with a big BANG! As in all in one it came to me, it was like me saying LET's BRING IT ON to whoever was causing it and whoever was giving it! During this time I was unable to live normally, my life was a complete disaster, and I felt so alone...It was also during this time that I came to realise who my "true friends" are...the ones who stood by me money or no money, depressed or not...It heart warming and at the same time heartbreaking, especially when you expect them to understand your situation but they do the opposite. Slowly they drift away and you feel more alone. It was also during this time that I learned the real meaning of "motherhood"...if it wasn't for my son I would have given up this battle...but all I had to do is look at him and it eases all my pain away. He was my stregth! I had a different vision with my son next to me.

Now...as I look back, I am relieved that it is all over (for now!), but I can assure myself that I am ready for the next battle!

Life oh Life!!!!

Life? What is it really? I can only say one thing it is true what they that it is what we make of it! It is such a vast subject to discuss however, it is very interesting as you can learn through each others experiences in LIFE! I have had numerous shitty and colourful ones myself and I can gladly say that I am not nor will I ever be ashamed of it cause it was, is and will be the basis of my LIFE! They key to it is to look back on the past and make ammends for the present and brighter future will await! It sounds cheesy, I know! Cause am still waiting for my brighter future and while waiting am working on it too! Building it's foundation!

There you are! LIFE oh LIFE!!!! We are given one life to live and we can live it however we please! If you fail or succeed you got yourself to blame!